


I'm a Girl, I Swear!

by Redpandaxredpanda



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, cross dressing, dipper dressed as a girl, highschool
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2018-11-21 15:39:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11360457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redpandaxredpanda/pseuds/Redpandaxredpanda
Summary: It started as a joke, but if you take it too seriously, I might take it too far.Dipper Pines was bringing his sister popcorn for his sister's sleepover. When he arrives Mabel, Grenda and Candy were playing truth or dare. When he starts to play with them he gets a dare that changes his life completely.





	1. Truth or Dare?

**Author's Note:**

> IM BACK BABY! School has been harsh on me T^T but alas, I'm back and as good as ever! I'm exploding with ideas and I'm trying to write them before I forget so, be prepare for lots of updates (that probably won't happen).

Mabel was having a sleep over today with her friends Grenda and Candy. Mabel gave me the wonderful job of 'snack duty' for her tv show marathon. I made my way towards Mabel's room and as I am about to open the door I can already hear the giggles of Mabel and her friends.

"Mabel, truth or dare." Candy asks. Making her voice drop to create a spookier effect. I walk in the room. Mabel and her friends continued to play while I entered.

"Truth!" Mabel replies. A sheepish grin on her face.

"Hmm let me think... Ah! Is there someone who you like in our school?"

"Yeah like EVERYONE!" Mabel says exaggerating her voice. But to be frank that was a dumb question considering Mabel has been boy crazy her whole life.

"Mabel here's the popcorn for your detective duck marathon." I cut in and placed the bowl of popcorn in front of her preparing to leave before she yells at me.

"Dipper! Wanna play truth and dare with us? It'll be fun~" She adds.

"No thanks, you guys can have fun without me."

"SOMEONE SOUNDS LIKE A CHICKEN" Grenda basically screams.

"BOCK, BOCK. Someone is a chicken!" Mabel, Candy and Grenda all stand up to walk around like a chicken flapping their 'wings'. 

"I am NOT a chicken!" I reply, my cheeks start to heat up. "Fine. I'll play. Happy?"

I sit down on the ground with a pout on my face. The rest of the girls sit down in a circle beside me. They settled down a bit before Mabel asked,

"Ok Dipper, truth or dare?" 

"Truth." I confidently replied. 

Playing truth and dare is easy for me because I have nothing to hide. I can just keep choosing truth and it will not affect me. Or so I thought.

"No way Dipper, you always choose truth don't be a chicken be a man!" Mabel commented.

I always hate it when people say I am not like a man and after forcing me to play truth or dare Mabel touched a nerve that flicked a switch inside of me.

"Fine. Let's play it your way, Dare."

Mabel smirked as if she planned for this to happen. When I saw that look on her face I knew I screwed up.

"Hmm, I dare you to...dress as a girl for one week."

___________________

It's funny how one stupid word can screw up everything. And it turns out my stupid word was 'dare'. The word that put me into a dress and made me wear makeup. Is it even possible for a dare to go on for a whole week? Is it too late to chicken out? Being called a chicken would be better than giving up my manliness.

I look at my reflection in the mirror while Mabel, Grenda and Candy all scream about how cute I look.

Cute? Me?

There is no way that is possible. Looking at myself Mabel has put me in a pink dress with white lace that ended in the middle of my thigh and black tights to cover my leg hair. I also had white Mary janes that had a small heel. I wore light makeup that made my skin look like a doll's and my hair had two strawberry hair clips. I did look quite cute, but I would never admit it.

"Dipper! Or should I say Madison~, your hair would look so cute if I clipped up your bangs!" Mabel said, while admiring her handy work.

"No way." I replied. "You know I hate showing my birthmark and your makeup is too sheer to cover it. And what kind of name is Madison?"

"Ok, ok, I won't expose your birthmark and Madison is going to be your new name! It's a gender-bent version of Mason. You are going to be my cousin from England and your exchanging schools with dipper for a week!" Mabel replies almost lost in thought of her new made up fantasy.

"Wait, school? There is no way I am going to school dressed like this!" I almost screamed.

It is embarrassing enough to be dressed like this, but in public? It would be 100 no, 1000 times more embarrassing.

"Are you too chicken?"

_______________

Sometimes I wonder how I get myself into these situations. Situations that make you want to dig a hole to bury yourself in it. This, this is a situation like that.

Standing in front of the class in a wig, dress and makeup. 

Mabel thought it would be a good idea to wear a wig to make me look less like Mason and more like Madison. She also thought it would be a good idea to announce my arrival to everyone and tell the teacher. Thus, I find myself introducing myself in front of the class as if I were a new student.

"Hello! My name is d-Madison Pines and I am dipper's and Mabel's cousin from England. I am here because I am exchanging schools with Dipper to see what is it like to live here." I nervously said. It was kind of strange to introduce yourself to people you already know but, it is also strange to dress as the opposite gender.

I thought that the kids in the class would be bored but instead the boys could not stop drooling and the girls all gave me a 'Omg she so cute' look.

"Right," replied the teacher. "Madison why don't you sit next to... Bill."

"Bill?" I repeat.

Bill Cipher, the most popular, rich, and hottest student in this school. His blond hair and his one blue, one brown coloured eye make all the girls go nuts for him. The total opposite of a loser like me. But to me, he is nothing special and to him I am nothing special because we live in completely different worlds.

I make my way over to the seat and I put on my best smile.

"Hi. I guess I'm going to be your seat buddy for the week." I say.

Before he has the chance to reply the bell rings.

__________BILL'S POV___________

Today, I have seen the most beautiful girl in the world. Rosy round cheeks, brown locks and her figure was very petite. She wore a outfit that made her look like a porcelain doll. A total cutie.  
I walked past her in the hall and I could hear her murmuring something to herself.

"My name is Madison Pines and I am Dipper's and Mabel's cousin..."

I could not help myself from doing a double take. Dipper's cousin? Some how I find that hard to believe. Dipper Pines is the biggest loser in the world. The fact that he is somewhat related to that goddess is a big surprise. Genetics messed him up especially, because he has an ugly birthmark on the middle of his forehead. What a freak. At least his sister is not as bad. She is a popular between female classmates, but for some strange reason boys run when they hear her name.

I could not stop thinking about Madison. Comparing her to other girls would be like comparing diamonds to dirt. I take my seat near a window and Pyronica sat next to me.  
Pyronica is like a total slut no, correction, Pyronica is a total slut. She tries to get in any guys pants and since she set her eyes on me, she would not leave me alone.

"Sorry." I begin. "Can you sit somewhere else?" I tried not to lose my temper.

"Sorry Bill~, were you saving this seat for someone else?" Pyronica said in a flirtatious voice while batting her eyelashes.

"Yes, so get out." 

It took some time to persuade Pyronica to leave and I ended up with no sit partner, but to be honest I would rather prefer to sit alone. Everyone quieted down before the teacher entered.

"Hello class, I hope you all had a great weekend. Today we all have a new student."

I look up to see Madison my face lights up like a light bulb.

"Hello! My name is d-Madison Pines and I am dipper's and Mabel's cousin from England. I am here because..."

I listen to her introduce herself. She was quite nervous and her eyes darted around the room. 

"Right." replied the teacher "Madison, why don't you sit next to... Bill."

I glance up to the sound of my name and before I know it Madison made her way towards me. Up close she is a lot cuter and the smile she flashes towards me almost made my nose bleed.

"Hi. I guess I'm going to be your seat buddy for the week." She says quite cheerfully.

I was about to reply all coolly to impress her but the bell rang. I could not hear the teacher over the loud noises of my heart.

I am definitely in love.


	2. Don't Make Deals With The Devil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Random person: HEY! You said you were going to post every week but, school is going to going to starts soon! what the heck!
> 
> Me: I told you I wasn't going to... Wait a second did you say school's about to start?
> 
> Random person: well yeah...
> 
> Me: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Seat buddy? Really? What even is a seat buddy? I mentally start beating myself up after realizing I already made a total fool of myself. But, everyone was too busy listening to the teacher to pay any more attention to me. Being a giant nerd I already knew the subject the teacher was trying to teach. listening to things I already knew seemed like a waste of time. I decided to instead use my time in class to contemplate my life decisions. Something I think I will be thinking a lot about a lot this week. 

After the bell rang, everyone bombarded me with questions.

"Madison, your skin is flawless! What products do you use?"

"Madison, are you dating anyone?"

"I umm... Don't use any products on my skin and no, I'm not dating anyone."

After being bombarded by questions I tried my best to answer each one. After awhile it was too much and I quickly excused myself and I decided to make my way to the bathroom to clear my mind.

I went to the washroom but before entering the door, I hear someone call me.

"Madison!" I felt a hand pull the back of my dress. I yelped a bit before turning around.

"Bill?"

"That's the boy's washroom." I look up at the boy's washroom sign. It took me a few seconds to realize what he was talking about.

"Right! I'm a girl... I don't go in this washroom..." I wave of sudden realization goes over me.

If I dress as a girl I need to go into the girl's washroom but...

I am a guy...

"Do you need help finding your way around the school? Our school layout is quite strange the girl's and boy's washroom is in different locations." Bill interrupted my train of thought.

"No! I mean... I'm fine." I could never forgive myself if I went into the girl's washroom.

"I insist! What kind of man would I be to not help a damsel in distress?" Before I had a chance to decline Bill already was leading me by the hand.

"I'll wait outside so I can bring you to your next class!" Bill gives me a smile. I noticed we were already in front of the girl's washroom. All I could reply was

"Alright."

Please let there be no one in this washroom. I mutter to myself as I open the bathroom door.

I breathe I sigh of relief as I realized no one was in the washroom.

"Dipper?"

"AHHHHHH!!!! I'M SORRY I'M NOT A PERVERT I DON'T EVEN LIKE GIR-!!! Mabel?"

A wave of relief goes over me. 

"Oh my god Mabel, thank god it's you."

"What are you doing here?" Mabel asks.

"I'll explain it later." I told Mabel. I had bigger problems at the moment, one being Bill. "I get need you to do a favour for me. Please get Bill to leave he's waiting outside."

"Why?" Mabel responds looking blankly at me.

"What do you mean why?"

"I mean, you liked Bill since kindergarten! Why can't you just enjoy this?" 

"Mabel, that was years ago! Plus, me and Bill don't suit each other."

"But Madison and Bill don't live in different worlds, in fact I think Bill is head over heels for Madison." Mabel raised her eyebrows up and down smirking.

"THATS THE PROBLEM! I'M NOT MADISON!"

My voice echoed in the bathroom. I hoped no one heard me but that was the least of my problems. I looked up at Mabel she was shocked for a moment before replying.

"Fine. I'll just rid of him but what's in it for me?"

"One thing. Whatever it is I'll do it, just get rid of him."

"Deal."

________Bill's POV_______

I was waiting outside the washroom hoping Madison would come out soon. I only met her today but, I am already addicted to her. But unfortunately, Mabel had a not-incredibly-important-task for me to do and when I came back Madison was gone.But my string of bad luck did not end there, the next two blocks, I didn't have any other classes with Madison. But luckily the next block was lunch.

I look around before spotting Madison taking a sit beside Mabel and her friends.

"Hey Mabel, hey Madison, sorry about leaving you earlier today but to make it up to you I'll buy you something from the cafeteria."

"Thanks for the offer but I'll pass." Madison smiled weakly at me. I couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed.

"Wait Madison, didn't you want to make new friends? This a great chance!" Mabel had a smile on her face as she finished. "Why don't you join Bill at his table?"

My face lit up as I mentally noted to thank Mabel later. 

"Yeah! That sounds like fun." I add.

"Wha- but..." Before Madison finishes her sentence Mabel was already pushing her out of the table

"Don't worry it'll be fun!" I push Madison towards the table I usually eat at. 

 

"Hey Bill who's this?" Eight ball gestures towards Madison.

"This is Madison she's a exchange student."

"H-hello." Madison stuttered over her greeting. Adorable.

"Whatever. Anyways, Bill are you coming to my party tonight? It's my birthday after all~" Pyronica asked for like, the 100th time in her weird flirtatious voice. 

Madison and I take our seats at the table.

"I don't know Pyronica, I'm pretty busy tonight." I make up a lame excuse to stay away Pyronica. But my eyes land on Madison. "I know! Madison you should come too! If you go I'll definitely swing by." Killing two birds with one stone. I won't hear Pyronica's nagging and I'll get to hangout with Madison.

"A party? Am I invited?" Madison asks looking at the she-devil.

"Hmph!" Pyronica scoffs and replied. "I'm fine with whatever as long as Bill comes."

"It'll be super fun! Almost the whole school's gonna be there! So Madison, are you coming?"

"I still don't know is Mabel coming?"

Before I had a chance to answer Eight ball chimes in.

"Mabel? Not really, I mean, she gets invited to these types of things but, it's not really her 'thing'."

"Ha! Eight's tryin' to say that Mabel thinks she's too good for my parties." I looked over at Pyronica who was now sharping her nails of a file. "That brat is a no good goodie two shoes." She points towards Madison with her nail file.

"Pyronica! That's Madison's cousin!" I scold. "Sorry Madison don't take it personally." 

"YOU'RE Mabel's cousin?" Her eyes widen at a sudden realization. "Ha! That means your related to that other loser!" Pyronica all of the sudden went ecstatic.  
"That moron has that stupid scribble on the middle of his forehead. Not to mention that stupid..."

"PYRONICA!" I basically scream her name to shut her up. I now had the whole table looking at me.

"Geez Bill, sorry." Pyronica said sarcastically. "But It wasn't like you weren't thinking the same thing." I was going to reply but I knew I couldn't because she was completely right. I thought the exact same thing.

'you're related to that freak.'


	3. Blame It On The Alcohol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill's at Pyronica birthday and dipper isn't there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops haven't posted in forever. Also became more annoying and lazy. T^T enjoy it's a short chapter half of what I usually do and poor quality.  
> I hope it's not too much of a bother. T T

_______BILL'S POV_______

Everyone's eyes seemed to gravitate towards me. I might be over reacting but for my personality I have never said anything like this or at least to anyone's face. ButI said it 

Out loud

Too loud

And I can't take it back. 

I wish I could have taken back 10 seconds of my life. It took all my effort to look up at Madison, after realizing what I just said. Let's just say there were water works being held back and Madison didn't come to the party.

_____________

I chugged another cup of some sort of alcohol that was at the party. There was a lot of people dancing, there was also loud music, a few couples making out and smoking. Nothing out of the ordinary for a party. It was a crowd I would want to be apart of every single night but today I could only think of how boring it was and how badly I Fucked up with Madison. But it's not like there isn't any other fish in the sea. So why couldn't I stop thinking of her? I scan the crowd for anyone who could remotely match up to Madison's beauty. Anyone who could distract me. But no one was as innocent and beautiful as her. I see a pink head of hair make eye contact with me and made her way though the crowd.

Pyronica. Someone who definitely could not compare with Madison. 

"It could've been worse ya know." Pyronica tried to cheer me up. Even though she's the one who you could say started it. After she didn't hear me respond she continued.  
"Like you could have called her a freak. Chances are she wasn't close to that dipshit" 

"She was on the verge of tears. You know it takes over 20 tries to make up for a bad first impression. She's never want to see me again, let alone 20 times and she's only going to be here for a week. Just... Forget about me and have fun at your party."

"Well it's not impossible to meet 20 times. I meet with you at least 30 times a week." Pyronica made her way back into the crowd to dance again. "And thats on a busy week." She called behind her. I watch her back disappear in the crowd.

A few more drinks later I feel better and eight ball comes towards me.

"Bill! Teeth and I are gunna bail with a few other friends. You in?" Bail? I knew that was code for we're going to start fireworks and run from the police. But I was feeling a bit drunk and probably couldn't run from the police. but if everyone I liked was going to leave, there isn't a point in staying at this useless party. The alcohol was weak and the guests are boring.

"Nah I'm gunna... go home..."

"Suit yourself."

"Hoold on... I need a favour from you..."

____________________

 

Eightball, me and a few others were cramped in a car. I was shot gun and Eightball was driving, which was good because he was the most sober and could hold his alcohol unlike me who is already drunk.

I could never hold my alcohol and it's the one thing people make fun of me about.

"YEAH! LET"S GET WASTED TONIGHT!"

"Not until we set the fireworks you idiot." 

In the back of the car there were people that I didn't know people screaming left and right. Some how it seemed louder in the car then at the party. 

"Hold on guys we need to make a small detour for bill here." Eightball cut in.

"Awww" that was a small sound of disappointment before the noise continued again.

We pulled up to the side of the road. 

"Bill this your stop." 

"K... thaaaanks." I un buckled my seat beat and opened the car door. By this point the alcohol settled in and my movements were slowed and unbalanced and my speech was slurred. 

"hold on." Eightball grabbed my arm before asking. "Are you sure about this bill? You're going to regret it in the morning."

"I'll be fiiiine." I said a bit agitated. 

"Fine, don't blame me in the morning." I closed the door behind me and made my way the door.

__________DIPPER'S POV__________

I wasn't going to lie and say I wasn't upset. But I won't say that I've been crying in the bathroom. I was stronger than that. This was going to be the end of my first crush i suppose and my only crush of over 8 years.   
To think I was head over heels for him.  
To think he was a pretty good guy.  
To think I had a chance with him.

"Dipper don't beat yourself up about this." Mabel was trying to comfort me. She knew I wasn't that sad about it but she did feel responsible.

"I know what will cheer you up." She got up and headed down stairs and a few minutes later she had a a bunch of movies and two tubs of chocolate ice cream. She handed me a tub of chocolate ice cream. We started to watch a romantic movie marathon and pretend to gag and laugh at how unrealistic and stupid the romance was.   
I felt much better

Until I heard a knock at the door.


	4. Why should I seduce a drunk?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill's drunk and Mabel's evil. Poor dipper has a lot more problems then just cross dressing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Winter break is almost here! Too bad all my teacher's are cramming a million projects in the last week before the break. Sigh.

_________DIPPER'S POV___________

What a pain to have someone at the door at this hour. I groaned.

"Mabel don't answer it, it's probably not important." I told her.

We tried to continue our show but the knocks continued getting louder. Mabel was the first to break.

"Arggg! I'll get it!" She paused the show and got up to get the door.

 

The front door was in a separate room so I couldn't see who was at the door but I could still hear Mabel open the door. And most of what was happening. Especially when the first thing Mabel screamed was,

"BILL?" 

I jumped a little in my seat at Mabel's sudden outburst. But more importantly why was bill here. I moved areas to hear them talk better.

"What are you doing here? Wasn't there a party today?"

"Yeah... But it started to get boring... Is Madison here?" Great. Bill was here and he was drunk. I only had a few experiences with drunks and they weren't pleasant to say the least. Mabel is the worst type of drunk. But more importantly I wasn't Madison I was dipper and dipper is suppose to be in England sipping tea and eating biscuits.

"Uhhhh no... I mean yes, but she probably doesn't want to talk to you right now... at this moment... for no other reason then what happened at school today." I mentally face palmed myself. Never trust Mabel with any secret she will spill the beans in less then five seconds. But at least bill seemed to drunk to notice.

"I know... I just wanted to apologize."

"Aww, that's sweet bill but she still doesn't want to see you. Plus, she's... Uhhh... taking a shower now. Yep that's what she's doing, taking a shower." Mabel fumbled over her words trying to make up an excuse.

"Can I wait until she finished?" 

"And talk to her after?"Mabel paused for a moment. Too long of a moment. So long that I couldn't help but think-

"Yep! It might take a moment! Why don't you come in and have a seat?" My eyes widen as I realized Mabel had a devilish plan again. I mentally screamed at her before running up stairs to my room before Mabel came in with bill.

I few minutes pass before Mabel come up stairs to my room holding a towel and some makeup.

"Mabel..." I started. "MABEL LETS TALK ABOUT THIS!!"

__________________

It only took a few minutes for Mabel to transform Mason into Madison 'I just finished a shower' addition.

I was wearing a pair of Mabel's pjs and had my hair wrapped in a towel to avoid getting the wig wet and so it didn't look too fake. Mabel also put a bit of makeup on my face for a quote on quote, no makeup look and to look less like dipper. 

"Mabel... Can we not do this?"

"I won't take no as a answer!" Mabel put her hands on her hips and proudly stated. "Or my name isn't Mabel pines!"

"Plus..." Mabel paused and gave me a mischievous look. "You did say you would do me a favour for helping you in the girl's washroom. So... For my favour, I want you to..." She paused to add a more dramatic build up. 

"seduce bill."

 

"Seduce bill enough for him to confess to you by the end of the week. And if you don't... I'll tell everyone dipper pines is a cross dressing freak who goes into girl's washrooms!"

"Mabel!" I felt my cheeks heat up. I couldn't even say anything back because it was true.

"Well... I'm waiting for an answer." 

"Fine."

______________

I adjusted my bangs that stuck out of the towel to cover my birthmark before walking down the stairs.  
I realize and regretted making deals that have affected my life. The almost manly dipper pines has fallen to wearing female pyjamas and seducing his crush for the rest of the week. That was Mabel's request. You heard me right. 

Seduce bill.

I haven't even seduced a girl before how was I supposed to seduce a guy? And also, I have to do it during this whole week.  
I made my way downstairs I went over to the couch bill was sitting at.

He was slumped over, holding a Pitt cola that Mabel gave him but most of it was in a puddle on the floor. He was asleep.  
I sighed as I removed the soda from his hand. I heard him mumble something under his breath.

"sorry... Mad..i.son..." He was talking in his sleep.

I placed the soda on the coffee table and shook Bill awake. It didn't matter if I tried to seduce him or not he was too drunk to remember anything.

"Bill, did you drive here?" Bill slowly opened his eyes he was really groggy and drunk looking.

"Ma.. di... son?" His speech was slurred and low.

"Yes bill, I don't want you to drive. I'm going home with you"

"Mad..I..son...... Not... As... As in-nocent... As you loo-k... N-not.. That i.. Mind..." He took my sentence the wrong way and gave me a seductive smirk. I rolled my eyes at bill's playboy attitude. He completely forgot the reason he came here.

"Bill you can shut up and let me drive you or sleep on the streets. Your choice." After not hearing him respond, I asked.

"Did you drive here?" I put his arm over my shoulder. Attempting to transfer him outside.

"Bill your heavy I can't carry you stand up." Bill stopped responding to me but begrudgingly stood up.

It seemed like agonizing minutes before I was able to put shoes on, grab my keys, and get bill inside my car. I probably looked liked a hot mess, sweaty, in pyjamas, and a towel on my head all while dragging a drunk man. 

"At least he didn't drive here." I mumbled to myself.

I put bill in the passenger seat and put his seat belt on. He looked like he was going to pass out. I walked around to the driver's seat and got in the car. He was leaning his head on the car window with his eyes closed. I was getting a bit pissed having to take care of this drunk. I slapped bill on the cheek.

"Bill, tell me where you live or you're going to live on the streets." Bill jumped a bit as he sobered a bit up.

"XXX on XXX road."

I inputed the address on my phone. After I was done I glanced back at bill he was asleep again.

_________________

The drive was peaceful bill was asleep and I began to calm down.

"Sorry for slapping you." All I got was a mumble in return. I pulled up in bill's driveway.

"Bill we're here." I looked over at the drunk blond before sighing again. I pulled the towel off of my head and got out of the car and made my way to the passengers side.  
I opened the door and unbuckled bill's seatbelt. I took him out and made my way to the door. Hopefully bill's parents won't mind me disturbing them so late.

I knocked on the door and heard no response. Great.

"Bill do you have your keys." No response. I sighed and put bill on the ground. I started to reach into his pant's pockets to find his keys.

Back right, nope. Back left, nope, front...

"HEY! What the hell are you doing?!"

"Wha-" I was going to reply to him before I realized what it looked like was happening. I was with a man who was passed out touching his pants in the dark. 

It doesn't get more suspicious than that.


End file.
